The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

Will Rogers

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

Will Rogers

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Will Rogers

Elections are a good deal like marriages. There’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it’s the same with public officials.

Will Rogers

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Will Rogers

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.

Will Rogers

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out

Will Rogers

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

Will Rogers

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Will Rogers

We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.

Will Rogers

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

Will Rogers

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

Will Rogers

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Will Rogers

Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Will Rogers

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you, if you don’t let it get the best of you.

Will Rogers

Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Will Rogers

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got.

Will Rogers

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Will Rogers

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

Will Rogers

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Will Rogers

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Will Rogers